i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
