We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Randomize
