i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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