I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
this hospital has no fireball
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
