I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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