Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
