PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You made out with two different species that night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
