i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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