Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
