So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize