I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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