omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
