I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
