I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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