Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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