don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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