Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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