I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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