i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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