so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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