called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I am naked and annoyed.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
