At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I think I just shit out all my problems.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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