Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
