I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize