What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
