What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
