It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
