PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
