was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
