dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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