Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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