She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
