You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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