If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize