I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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