george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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