my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
