Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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