I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
