do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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