I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
time to smoke my breakfast
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Randomize
