Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
