Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
