To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize