It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
