we're blogging at a bar
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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