So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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