yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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