real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
