in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's blow job season.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
