I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I currently don't understand fingers.
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