I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
