worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
