I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
