I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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