I look better un-naked...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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