I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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