I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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