it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We had to coat check the pizza.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
