just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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