go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I've blown a few things in my day
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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