you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
