I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
