I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
