Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize