East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
