Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
