Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
