omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
