life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
