Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
