I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
