He is such a slut. More and more my type.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
