Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
