WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
