Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
