your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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