Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
